I Know How This Looks

by 4 Track Phantoms

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After the "4 Track Fake Bands," I took a 14 year break from playing music. Seeing as I didn't really have fans or non-imaginary band members, it was all starting to feel a little selfish. Also, since relationship woes or being high were my go-to areas for subject matter, the songwriting factory kinda shut down, as I have been happily married and not overly inebriated for many years. I first started the Phantoms to rework old Fake Bands songs, but, lo and behold, a new song has emerged about... parenting! Not exactly the stuff heart-wrenching poetry is made of. But new for me nonetheless, written in 2015.

I have three young sons very close in age. When they were all under 5, going to the park was super stressful to say the least. My toddler would be about to fall off the jungle gym while my middle son would be pulling another kid's hair. Where do I run first? I was always looking the neglectful mom as I couldn't hover over all three at once. And the tragic irony is that I have to be the most vigilant and watchful, although it never looks that way. My middle son is especially wild, so I always look like a bad mom with him. So this one goes out to the parents who have a raw little human who gets the stink eye from other parents.

Photo by the one and only (and incredible) Diane Arbus. I love her photos. I like her. I think she, like me, will take raw and wild humanity over cultivated pretension any day. "Give me the mad ones..."-Kerouac


I Know How This Looks

Do you fear what you don't understand?
Do you need the upper hand?
Did you enjoy watching me fall?
Did it help you stand tall?
I know how this looks, I could write a book
So to tell me where I want wrong
is to tell me nothing at all

I hear it takes a village to carry all those pitchforks
Feeling good about yourself
While you're pointing them at someone else
I know how this looks, I could write a book
So to tell me where I went wrong
is to tell me nothing at all

I can see it in your eyes, you take me for a fool
You're looking at my boy, think he's being raised by a pack of wolves
I know how this looks, I could write a book
So to tell me where I went wrong
is to tell me nothing at all


released January 13, 2016
Vocals: Melancholy Rose
Guitar: Dee Sharpe



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4 Track Phantoms San Clemente, California

Hi, I'm Cecily, and this is my project, the 4 Track Phantoms, a kind of diary of a free range singer, songwriter, musician, and spirited art and music fan. Available for vocals.

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